Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Today, I RAN!

Do you guys remember this post, the one where I was so excited I ran 2 miles with the Wii?

Well, I hate to bust anyone's bubbles but lemme tell you what, girlfriends **only because I don't have any male followers yet! Come on guys, where you at?** it's NOT the same as really running! You guys that already knew that and are laughing - shuuush! :)

Let me paint the picture for you. I get lunch made and get the kids all fixed up at the table. While their eating, my plan was to hop on the treadmill. My treadmill used to be in my master bath but you know the saying, "Out of sight-out of mind". In the first year I owned it - I was on it twice. Because I wanted to use it more, I moved it into the living room. The living room works good for it because during nap time or lunch, I can keep an eye on my kiddos and go for a walk at the same time.

I open the window next to where the treadmill sits and hop on. After a couple of minutes I think "Maybe I should run some" and devise a plan. I wanted to be on the machine 30 minutes - any more than that, my kiddos would be done eating and restless. But any less than that, I wont feel like Ive really accomplished anything. I know! For every four minutes I walk, I'll run one minute. Great idea, I thought. Ill get five full minutes of running and 25 of a brisk walk. But I wont kill myself from running more than I can at one time. Even one minute is pushing it for me. Now I can walk for hours - but as soon as you step it up a notch to a light jog - I beg for death.

The first four minutes walking - I'm great. I'm getting myself pumped up for the first one minute run and am excited about my new adventure for the day!

Time to run! "Oh, I got this!" I'm thinking as I'm running my big arse off. "OK, this is hurting a little now." I look down at my watch - 30 seconds. "WTH?! BS! I can run for one damn minute!" I stare at one spot on a brick on the fire place and push through till the minute is up.

Second four minutes walking - It takes a minute to catch my breath but overall I recover fairly quickly. I'm excited and proud of myself for today's adventure! I feel like I'm ready to run before the four minutes is up but don't because I want to stay on the routine I set for today.

Time to run X 2! "Ok, I got this, I think!" Im thinking as I'm running my big arse off. "Ok, this is sucking - wait a minute, get yourself together!" I lengthen my stride and stop freaking out. Look down at my watch - 35 seconds. "Oh dear gawd!" I close my eyes and grit my teeth to finish the minute.

Third four minutes walking - It takes a couple minutes this time to catch my breath. I'm still proud of myself for today's adventure but feel like I might have bit more off than I can chew. "Oh, the blog readers are gonna LOVE this one!"

Time to run X 3! "Um, I think I can get this." I'm thinking as I'm running my big arse off. "Breathe, Breathe, Breathe" I think I'm going to puke. Look down at my watch - 37 seconds! "What the hell is wrong with this flipping watch? I KNOW I've been running more than that!" Again, I close my eyes and grit my teeth to finish the minute.

Fourth four minutes walking - Three minutes into the walk and I'm still trying to catch my breath. I'm glad I did half of what I said to do but I'm spent. I put my hand on the button to turn off the machine. "No. Absolutely not. What will the blog readers say?" I move my hand and keep walking.

Time to run X 4! "I don't want to!" I cry out loud as I'm running my big arse off. By this point - the kiddos are no longer eating. Everyone of them are watching me - three are laughing and the Monkey truly looks scared. "Mommy, are you OK?" He looks like he's going to cry. "Yes...honey....I'm....OK" I look down at my watch 42 seconds. "I swear, Ive got the slowest watch on the planet".

Fifth four minutes walking - At this point, I go into all out labor mode. Those of you that have given birth know the routine - and the sound. There's a deep down from the pit of your soul groan/grunt associated with every breath. The man that lives across the street went out to his front yard to see where the birthing cow sound was coming from.

Time to run X 5! "Oh dear God in Heaven - NO!" I cry out loud as I'm running my big arse off. I grab the arms of the treadmill and make "the face." Its the face we've all seen on the Biggest Loser when the contestant is running on the treadmill - about to quit. My teeth are about to break they're grit so tight. I put my hand on the stop button again. "Don't you dare...." I hear from inside my head. The voice was not my own. Jillian, is that you? **Oh great, now I'm hearing voices! See, exercise is EVIL!** But somehow I knew that if I quit, she would only make it worse for me. **I'm afraid of her, and Ive never met her.** I move my hands and look at my watch - 45 seconds! "Die watch, die!"

Sixth four minutes walking - After a minute of huffing and puffing - it occurs to me. I'm almost done. I'm doing this. I've only got one run left. There's no way in H.E. double hockey sticks I'm gonna quit now. "OK clock - speed up so I can get this over with."

Time to run X 6! "I GOT THIS!" I say out loud as I'm running my big arse off. I found my focal point on the fireplace bricks again and I RAN. I look down at my watch - 1 minute, 10 seconds. I went over time!

I walked for a couple of minutes to cool down so my heart didn't explode. "I did it. I did it." I kept thinking to myself.

As I was drinking my water, about three minutes later - I broke out in a nasty cold sweat and got a case of the Gotta Go, Gotta Go, Gotta Go, right NOWs! I know that walking and running are supposed to aid in moving the bowls - but that's crazy! I tried to think of what I could have eaten but can't put my finger on anything. And I feel fine now.

I just really truly think I'm allergic to running. Honestly, that has to be it - right?

No really. I know better. And even if the running is the reason for the, umm - "issues" I'm still going to do it. I've decided I will do this routine every day. Every day. I'm going to post a list in the side bar for everyone to see. And I know that it will get easier. **God, please let it get easier!**

I put my walking and running time into the sparkpeople tracker and it gave me a total of 223 calories burned. That seems really low to me. I don't have a heart rate monitor and the gauges on the treadmill don't work **hey, I bought the thing used for $50 -what are ya gonna expect?** I bought what I thought was a heart rate watch - but its not. It tracks calories burned based on info put in - but I can do that anywhere. It doesn't track heart rate at all. I'd like a real live heart rate monitor to see where my numbers are.

So, if any of you have a used one you'd like to donate to the cause - I'd love to take it off of your hands, give it a home and put it to good use!

Oh, on a side note. A word of advise. Always, Always - wear two items when you run. A bra and shoes. The rest are optional. Don't ask how I know this. Just trust me.....

Today, I RAN!


Keelie said...


I don't own one so how is it different on the Wii?

linds said...

Because with the Wii, you're just running in place. You hold the remote, put it in your pocket or in the leg strap - depending on the game. Its still cardio. But totally different, at least for me. When I run in place, I am up on my toes. But when I really run, you use your whole foot.
I guess that's what the difference is anyway. At least it is for me, I guess.

Tina said...

OMG! I just giggled so loud I almost woke up my daycare kiddos.


I have been trying to run on my treadmill too!! ...with the exact same feelings...30 seconds is FOREVER....but I found that a bit of incline helps for some reason!?!

Giggle Giggle...LOVE IT.

WAY TO GO!!!!!!!!!!

linds said...

Incline HELPS??? I totally would think it would make it worse! But hey, I'm willing to give it a shot! Anything at this point, right?

Jessica - cbgblog said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog. I will check yours tomorrow... can't wait to read more about you.

Kerri & Katie said...

Give me a holler if you get two offers for a donation to your 'heart rate monitor' fund! Hah.
It's so encouraging that you're challenging yourself!

Kelly said...

Love this post! You are definitely right about Wii jogging and REAL JOGGING! I'm not much of a jogger, but I try. I feel the same way you are describing in this post! Laughed until I cried!
Keep up the good work! We can do this!!!

Journey to a New Me

linds said...

Thanks for the comments guys!!
Katie - It can't hurt to try, right?? :)
Kelly- I'm glad my hell was your amusement for the day! No really, its a good thing I'm doing. It'll only hurt for a little while - I hope.

And y'all could have told me about the insane typo in the post! While rereading it - I discovered I spelled bowels wrong. I knew running was supposed to help move the bowels - but didn't know it would move bowls too!! HA!!

Kelly said...

Sorry.. couldn't help but laugh! Reading this, I imagined myself outside running.. I have the exact same thoughts! It's good to know I am NOT alone!

Crystal said...

seriously sounds exactly like me on the treadmill! does it ever get easier????

linds said...

Oh, I'm just teasing Kelly. I think its funny too. At least its funny AFTER I did it!

Crystal - It darn well better get easier! If not, I may have to take up knitting as my cardio!