Monday, March 29, 2010

Why didn't I do this years ago???

First off - Im sorry!! I have not been around in forever (it feels like)! After we got back from our vacation, I just felt like I couldn't get caught up on anything. Laundry, sleep, getting the kitchen restocked, etc. I really felt like I needed a vacation from the vacation!!

I have every intention of writing a trip report - full of pics from our vacation. However, I took just shy of 1200 pics! Ive been working to get them edited and ready for posting, as well as printing for a scrapbook but gosh - 1200 pics take FOREVER to get edited! We got some scrapbook supplies while on our trip and several tons more this past weekend. I'm very crafty but have never done a scrapbook. Im kind of excited about it! It should be fun!

This past weekend, we didn't do much - just bee bopped around town, hit some garage sales and picked up bunches of stuff for the scrapbook. We stopped at Old Navy to see what they had for the boys. I love ON but rarely get anything for myself because I usually cant find anything to fit. BUT - oh, how this trip was different! I had arm loads of clothes to try on and was SO loving it! At one point Mistee said "Umm, this could be a problem!" I only walked away with a white summer time top and the cutest wrap around espadrilles! They both complimented perfectly with a pair of shorts Mistee bought me last week.

So, Sunday I put on my new outfit, did my hair and make up (which I never do - just to run around town). I felt FAN flippin TASTIC! The weather was great, I looked cute and felt wonderful. All I kept thinking to myself was "Damn, why didn't I do this years ago?" Ive lived my life feeling like crap for so many years - its a great change to feel confident. I will NEVER go back to where I came from.

This morning the scale said 242.6 - that's a SIX pound loss from last Monday! However, we had just gotten back from our trip last week Monday. I had a three pound loss over night - the scale last week Tuesday read 227.2 after saying 230.6 the day before. I know alot of it was because of water weight change. I posted before about how extremely bloated I was. But dang, SIX pounds? One week? And did I mention - no, I mean NO working out? I don't know why it happened (though it could be that my body is catching up to all the walking we did on the trip) but Ill take what ever I can get!

So, Im at a 36 pound loss now. In January, I was in a size 24 pants. At ON on Saturday I put on a size 16. They didn't look good and I didn't buy them. But I got them on, they buttoned and zipped with ease (Ok, maybe I had to suck in just a tad). Just too much muffin top for me to actually get them. BUT THEY WERE ON! A size 16! Can you believe it?

My next goal is to get into Onderland buy July 4th. I need 25 pounds off to be there. So, that's just a little over two pounds a week. I think I can... I think I can.... WAIT - no, I KNOW I can..... I KNOW I can!!!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Were home!!

Good morning!

We are finally home from our trip. It was an amazingly good time! We laughed, played with Mickey Mouse, ate GREAT food and spent a lot of money. After a 21 hour drive, we made it home Sunday early evening.

Weight wise -- I posted before we left that I was very nervous at how I would handle myself with all of the wonderful food around all the time. In looking at the overall trip, I think I did very well! I made good choices, didn't feel deprived and even at desert at almost every meal! I tracked my food everyday in my notebook and logged it all into yesterday. The first few days of the trip I ate between 1200 and 1300 calories a day. Towards the end, my calorie intake increased to just over 1500 a day.
I wore a pedometer on everyday to see what my mileage per day was. We walked anywhere from 9 to 12 miles a day! On average, it was a 1400 calorie burn a day! So, eating 1500 calories a day was really ok. Three days into the trip I started getting famished by every meal. I knew my body needed the calories and I was more than willing to find some! However, the majority of my calories came from protein, fruits and veggies. I did get desserts but would eat a bite or maybe two. Ok, maybe on the pineapple upside down cake, I ate almost the entire thing - but it was WONDERFUL!

During the trip I drank orange juice with breakfast, had 6 ounces of vanilla coke with lunch one day and one alcoholic drink. Other than that, water, only water, and LOTS of it. However, during the drives I couldn't drink much because I did not want to have to make pit stops. Because of that, I knew I would be dehydrated when we got home. But I didn't know how badly dehydrated I would be. My feet and hands were horribly swollen and I had a hard time wearing any button pants or shorts. So, I gave myself yesterday off to not only get rested and unpacked but to rehydrate as well.

Before I tell you what the scale said this morning - Ill let you know that of the clothes I bought for the trip - two pair of shorts and a pair of capri pants - the all fit great! Even the capris, that I really didn't think I would wear because of my love handles hanging over the sides, fit fairly well. While there, I bought a pair of shorts and several shirts. The shorts are an XL from the women department. This was the largest size they carried in that department. I would not have been able to get the shorts with out losing the weight first. They are SO cute! So, I was excited about that. I also got a hoodie sweatshirt that's a size L. There's no X or number in front of the L! I honestly can't remember the last time I was able to wear a Large anything!

Ok! Ok! Get to the point Lindsey - What did the scale say???


Yup! A 3.4 pound loss while on vacation!! :0)

I'm working on a post now with tons of pics from the trip. I took tons of pics! I also plan on spending the day getting caught up on everyone's blogs. I have several I follow, so this could take a while.

I hope everyone is doing well. Thanks so much for the encouragement and well wishes - you guys are amazing!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

To quote Dora....

Remember my goal of wanting to lose 30 pounds before we left for our trip??


Here's the scale just a few minutes ago!

Boy, that scale is dirty. Maybe I should take better care of him - so he'll be nice to me!

So, technically I still have .6 pounds to go to exactly reach my 30 pound loss. Yes, its more than a half of a pound. But - all I wanted was to see 230 on the scale before we left. And there it is! Am I going to stress over the .6? Uhhh - no.

Next goal????
I will NOT be over 235 when we get back from our trip. However, I'm really really reeeaaallllyyy wanting to maintain at 230 while were gone.

Regardless if I maintain or not on the trip. I want to hit Onderland by July 4th. I lost this first 30 in 10 weeks. July 4th is in 16 weeks, so I think this is an achievable goal.

Like Dora says " I did it! I did it! I did it! Horray!"

Twenty Questions

Kenz, over at All the Weigh posted a list of twenty questions she answered about herself. She asked for others to answer the questions as well, so we can all know more about each other. Great idea! So, here's my twenty questions....

1. What is one of your favorite ways to spend a Saturday?
I love Saturdays in the spring time! After a good breakfast of eggs, bacon, toast and fruit we like to all pack up and go search out good garage sales or go to the park for the afternoon to feed the ducks, walk or play on the playground!

2. List your three favorite tv shows.
I'm really not much of a tv watcher. My days are filled with the Disney Channel and Yo Gabba Gabba. My favorite show right now is Private Practice. I'm really looking forward to Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution.

3. Would you rather be in pictures or take them?
I actually wrote about this here. Normally, I wouldn't be caught dead in front of a camera, though I love photography and consider myself an amateur/professional photographer. However, this changed when I realized how few pictures there are of me and my kids together. I have more of myself from the last week than I have for the last two months combined!

4. Why do you blog?
I started blogging as a way to journal my experiences. However, it has really turned into more than that for me. I don't hunt for more readers - probably why I don't have very many - but I love the ones I have! I love the little community of support we all have together.

5. Share five websites you visit everyday.
I'm a Facebook junkie. I can always be found there. Other than that - reading blogs, and looking for anything Disney World to help plan our trip. We leave tomorrow!!

6. If you could have lunch with one person from your Twitter list, who would it be?
Twitter is one thing I haven't really gotten into. I know! I know! tisk tisk
BUT - Jillian Micheals is on my twitter list - so obviously her!

7. List a few of your favorite snacks.....
I always grab a Special K granola bar or a Cutie clementine.

8. Do you have a pet? If so, what kind?
We have two dogs and two cats. This number is really good for us! We've been known to have a small zoo in our house, including ferrets, pet rats, we had four aquariums -two saltwater- at one point. The dogs we have now are Peaches, the basset hound and Peyton Manning, the weenie dog. Cats are Tinkerbelle and T-Bone. Here's Peaches, my old girl. She's the best dog on the planet.

9. Which three material possessions would you struggle to live with out?
My laptop, for sure!! It is my life line - I would DIE with out it! Yes, I'm taking it on vacation too. My cell would be another one. Mostly, because I use it to get online too. The third would be my camera. I am totally a camera whore. I take it everywhere and take tons and tons of pics!

10. What's your favorite drink?
Are we talking alcoholic or non? Non is sweet tea, though I haven't had any in probably a month! Its all about water - lots and lots of water these days! I know, boring right. Alcoholic, I love Jamaican Cowboy margaritas! Its a margarita with a sweet and tangy twist. Yum!

11. Do you enjoy cooking?
I LOVE to cook! And I'm damn good at it too! Hey, I've earned my butt!

12. Do you have children?
You obviously have not been paying attention to my blog! Since, other than my weight, that's all I talk about! I have three boys aged 22, 9 and 3. The 9 and 3 year old both have birthdays in April. We also have an 18 month old grand baby. And I do home child care for two other kiddos right now - one turned 2 this past November and the other is 16 months old. Ive kept both of them for over a year and love them like they were my own. I also have a 9 year old nephew and a 7 year old niece, who until recently lived with us too. AND - were planning on starting to try to have one more here in the next couple of months. Do I love kids? Uhh, what do you think? :)

13. What are your favorite hobbies?
Photography is my favorite. But I also love to read, cook, and sew, cross stitch etc.

14. Would you consider yourself to be shy or outgoing?
Uhhh - is both an answer? I'm pretty outgoing and love to laugh. But, I have a hard time making close friends because I have a real hard time opening up. I'm overall not very trusting and feel like people think I'm stupid, immature, a geek etc. (Though I know I'm not.) I was raised in an adult environment so was always considered mature for my age. However, as a result I had a very hard time relating with my peers. Now that I'm older and am supposed to be more mature - I find myself being silly. Its almost like I'm going backwards.

15. If you could change one thing about yourself what would you change?
Two things that kind of go hand in hand are my trust in people and the fact that I hold grudges. I try not too - but its always there in the back of my mind. I'm working on these though.

16. Who is your favorite actor/actress?
I think Kathy Bates is amazing. I haven't seen of her work that I haven't loved. I'm also a Tom Hanks and Robin Williams fan.

17. What is the silliest thing you've done this week?
Just this morning I ran away from a Vietnamese man who was chasing me with an electric drill! Seriously, I went to tan and parked in a parking spot labeled for the nail salon next door. I made a point to look and make sure the nail salon was not open - they didn't open for two more hours so I thought it would be OK. Well, when I went to leave, a Vietnamese man, who I'm assuming is the owner of the nail salon, was hanging a banner outside. He jumped down from his ladder and started chasing me, yelling and waving his electric drill in the air! I just smiled and waved, acting like I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. I figure that's how he looks at me when he's doing my toes - now he knows how it feels. Guess I wont be having him do my toes anymore. Time to look for a new nail salon.....

18. Do you live near your family or far from them?
I have a very small family. My father passed when I was young. I have no contact with that side of my family. My mother lives in Anchorage, Ak and I have an aunt and two cousins in Oklahoma. So, yea - not so close.

19. List three of your talents....
Photography (have I mentioned I like photography?), Humor, and I can decorate a mean cake.
This one I made for Doodle's first birthday.

20. What is your greatest attribute?
Compassion. I am very compassionate and do not judge anyone. If I have not walked in someone's shoes or lived their life - I am in no position to make judgment calls on their life or the way they live it. The only exception I have to that rule is in the treatment of children. They are empty slates and are all perfect at birth. They deserve nothing less that to be treated fairly, with respect and love.

So, there you have it. My answers to the twenty questions. Who's next??

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Pics - New hair and sweat!

I'm really trying to follow in Keelie's footsteps some. She takes tons of pictures of herself so she can see her progress. I just feel silly taking pictures of myself in the mirror. Do I smile? Not smile? Pose or no? I dont know. Just strange to me.

First, I found a couple of before pics. These were taken at Mistee and I's 10th anniversary surprise party. Our friends are amazing and went to a lot of trouble to show us they care.

Ive had a couple of people ask about my new haircut. So, I decided to take some pics of it. I had kind of a hard time with these. The lights above my vanity are hot so I was sweating like a sinner in church. But you'll get the idea. I'm going to color it tonight. I'm naturally blond, dark but blond. I need to be blond. Some people need chocolate. I need my hair to be blond. Other colors just don't work for me.

Just a warning that these next pics are FUN-KEY! I decided to jump on the treadmill for a half an hour Monday night. But when my half hour was up - I decided to go for another. Boy was I pooped when I was done. If you haven't noticed - Ive kind of given up on my 4/1. I feel like I can get more done if I don't throw running into the mix. I can walk at an extremely fast pace and keep it up for ages but when you throw running into it - I can't keep at it for long. I know I should be pushing myself but I just feel like I get a better work out I don't run. Anyway, here's what I accomplished with my hour on the treadmill.

If you remember, Ive been really nervous about next weeks trip. I decided to be proactive about the situation and looked up the menus for all of the restaurants we have reservations for. I bought myself a notebook last week to log my meals in. So after looking up all of the menus I made notes on what my options could be. That way I wont feel like I'm scrambling around while sitting at the table - Ill already have a plan of action. I'm pretty excited about that. It really helped put my mind at ease some. I also made the deal with Mistee and Duppy that instead of stopping to eat while on the road, we would pack a small cooler. Its cheaper, saves time and saves me calories! Yay!
I'm still hoping to reach my goal Friday before we leave. I wanted 30 pounds gone before we left. Yesterday, the scale said 232.4 That means I have 2.4 pounds to go. I didn't weigh today. So, we'll just see what happens!

I hope everyone is having a fantastic week! Thanks so much to everyone for your support on my last, kind of frumpy, post. Ive come to understand that we all have ups and downs with this journey. Ill have to take the good points with the bad both mental and physical. I want this - so I'm willing to take what ever I can get.
Oh, and I bought another pair of shorts and a pair of capris last night. Both size 18! The shorts are good but the capris have a pretty good muffin top. I can hide it with a new baggie shirt I got - also size 18. Ill take them on the trip - but I don't know if Ill wear them. It'll just depend on my mood at the time I guess!

Oh, and by the way -- I've renamed sweat. It will now be known as MELTED FAT! :)

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Who am I now?

Sundays are my official weigh in days, though I weigh every day.

Today the scale said 232.8. That makes a 4.6 pound loss for the week and a 28 pound total loss in nine weeks - averaging to be 3.1 pounds a week. Totally great numbers!!


I started tanning yesterday, which is both great for me mentally (photo therapy has been shown to help increase serotonin levels thus decreasing depression) but physically as well - because tan fat is better looking than white fat! I also got a cute hair cut, new contacts (doc said I need to see a glaucoma specialist - ouch), went to see a movie with friends (Alice in Wonderland - cute) and got some new shorts that are a size 18. That's TWO, yes TWO sizes smaller than the last pair of non athletic shorts I bought. People are starting to notice my weight loss now and are making comments to not only me but Mistee as well. Oh, and I got on a scale at Duppy's office - (she works at the local ASPCA so they have a big walk on scale for the animals). I was nervous about getting on her scale, for fear it would show a 937 pound higher weight difference then what I have at home. It didn't. It showed me to be 230.4 - fully clothed. Granted, I'm not going to track numbers from that scale - but it was nice to see.

Seems like a GREAT weekend right??

Any normal person would be ecstatic with how the weekend went. A little makeover, new smaller clothes, a great weigh in for the week, good food choices, upcoming vacation, etc.

But I'm not.......

I have had an inner battle with myself this weekend. I just don't feel connected to the process. Actually, I really just don't feel connected to myself.
Ive made great food choices - choosing only a bottle of water as my movie snack and staying in the low end of my calorie goals. I worked out Friday, but not yesterday and haven't yet today - but will.
People say they see the change in me physically. But I don't. I see some, I guess. But not to the extreme of what people are saying.

When I was at my eye exam, Mistee and the boys were running around Walmart picking up odds and ends for the trip. When my appointment was over I met them in the store (my appt was with the eye dr in Walmart) She presented the new shorts to me - the size 18. Without even touching them, I said - "Did they not have a size 20?" She said no. There was an 18 and a 24. "They wont fit. Put them back." She bought them anyway, saying if they don't fit now - they soon will. So, when we got home - I took the shorts and went into the bathroom. She followed me in there and I asked her to leave. I was TERRIFIED to put them on. Actually, at first I didnt. I folded them and sat them on the vanity. And walked out of the bathroom telling Mistee I would try them on after I lost ten more pounds because they just would not fit now and I knew it. But, they are cute shorts and I wanted to wear them to the movie. So, I went back into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. I pulled them on in front of the mirror - they slid up my hips easily, buttoned and even zipped. I have a small muffin top when I wear them on my waist but am able to wear them a little higher and hide the muffin. I wore the shorts to the movie.

I couldn't believe I was in them! But, its strange - its not a "I didn't realize I was doing so well to lose two sizes already" - not believing it. Its more of a "I feel like I'm the same size - fat and gross" not believing it.

When friends say I look good and ask how much I've lost - I politely say thank you and tell them the numbers. But I quickly change the subject. I figure the only reason why people are commenting it to begin with is because they were set up to by Mistee, read my blog or my posts on Facebook. Mistee has actually gotten upset with me because I argue that you cant really see what I've lost. I have so much to lose - how can only 28 pounds make such a huge difference that she says there is?

My connection to the scale is different now too. I get on the scale every morning. But most of the time, I completely disregard what it says - tracking up to a pound more on my spreadsheet than what the scale actually said. I'm deathly afraid of it lying to me. Of it giving me a great number on Monday - only to say something higher on Tuesday. Though it has not happened, not once. I'm still afraid of it. However, when someone asks what I've lost - I give them the number that was truly on the scale. Everyone wants big numbers and I don't want to disappoint them.

Ive lost connections to a couple of my friends through this journey too. Friends I used to go eat with on a regular basis, either go without me or say they have other plans when I ask them. Eating habits are something that people share together. Its not fun to pig out on a plate of pasta and chocolate cake when the person sitting next to you is eating salmon and salad. You want someone to make bad choices with you - so you don't feel as guilty, ashamed etc But when its right in your face, sitting right next to you, that YOU COULD and SHOULD make better choices at the very same restaurant - its not fun.

Have you noticed too, that friends that are fat together lose their relationship when one of the friends is no longer fat - or in the process of becoming no longer fat? Is it because the still fat friend is jealous? Angry? But angry at who? The process of becoming no longer fat friend or at themselves because after all, they are still fat?

So, who am I now? People tell me I look great (at least better), but I don't believe them and I find myself losing my friends. The security of knowing what clothes fit and looked good is no longer there. Food is no longer my friend either. So, what do I have? What is mine? Who am I now?

You have to understand - I have been the "Big Girl" all of my life. I mean ALL of my life. Its even a running joke between a life long friend and I. When we talk about our elementary school days we refer to The Big Girl - me. My feelings were never hurt by the name. I accepted it. It was the reality I lived with for 32 years. But, who am I now?

I have no intention of discontinuing my journey. I like the way I feel physically. I LOVE that I have more energy and am teaching my kids lessons to live healthier and to make better choices on food.
But what do I do to make this better? I can't make my friends start a journey of their own. I'm not in a mental position to give up the scale. Most of you are strong enough for that. I wish I could. Ive even thought of packing it on the trip! **But I'm not gonna.** When I'm done writing this post, I'm going to shower and take some pics of myself - hoping some comparison pics will help get me connected to this process. Plus, I have friends that wanna see my hair cut. Other than that, any suggestions?? Maybe I need a shrink? Seriously, maybe I do. I do not want to see myself developing a dangerously crappy body self image. Or am I totally blowing stuff out of proportion? Are you reading this, thinking to yourself - Damn, this girl is nuts - she's only lost 28 pounds, she acts like she's lost 300! Should I just shut my pie hole and keep on keeping on? Uggg!

The original title of this post was "Weekend Weigh In and Emotional Stresses" But it seems to be obvious the "Weekend Weigh In" part of the topic has been taken over and "Emotional Stresses" part doesn't do it justice. So, I guess I'll change the title to - Am I Nuts?, Big Girl goes Batty, or What the Hell is Wrong with Me?

Friday, March 5, 2010

Sunshine Award!

I got a blogger award! This is my first one! **I say first one, like I'm gonna get tons more - gah!)

Thanks so much Crystal at Fitness Journal! If she's not on your reading list, she should be! She's a great person, full of support and kindness.
*Crystal if you're reading this - I can't comment on your posts. When it goes to the word verification, it cuts off the box to type the word in. Help! And thanks so much for the award!

The rules for this award are simple - just pass on to 12 other bloggers who inspire you or need a little Sunshine.

I'm never one to follow the rules so I'm going to change this up a bit. I have only three girls I'm giving this award to.

Our personal journeys to being healthy or staying healthy are not easy, especially with the normal challenges of everyday life. However, these three strong, determined and inspiring women are going through personal stresses that would make any of us stop dead in our tracks - wither its becoming a newly single mother, dealing with the serious illness of a close family member, or dealing with a death of a loved one. These three women still manage to make healthy living a priority. They are truly an inspiration to me. Please keep them in your thoughts as they go through their individual journeys.

All of these women have been previously awarded this prize but I think we all need a little more Sunshine in our lives!

I am giving this award to:
MrsFatass at Did I Just Eat That Out Loud?
Buzzy & Breezelys Mama at
Jessica at CBGBlog

What are we doing to our kids?

I realized something the last week or so. I am doing a HUGE injustice to my family, namely my boys. Just how fair is it for me to eat a grilled chicken breast and salad for dinner, while my kids eat McDonald's or pizza.

What exactly am I teaching them? Let me tell you - What I'm teaching them is that its OK to eat all the crap you want - until you are obese - THEN you make the changes in your life to become healthy and get the weight off. HOW INSANELY CRAZY IS THAT?

**FACT - almost 60% of children in America are obese
**FACT - in 2002, 22% of America's preschoolers were overweight. What do you think that number is for 2010? PRESCHOOLERS!
**FACT - 40% of obese children and 70% of obese adolescence become obese adults
**FACT- a child in America has an 80% chance of becoming obese if only one of their parents is obese.
**FACT - In 2008, only one state (Colorado) had a prevalence of obesity less than 20%
**FACT - American's spend $150 BILLION in obesity related health care costs

** For the first time in American history - our children are facing a shorter lifespan than what we have - many dieing BEFORE THEIR PARENTS.

What are we doing to our kids?

Something has to give. Something has to change.

Michelle Obama is working with the Let's Move program to 1. Give parents information they need to make healthier choices for their family 2. She is working to improve the meal options at our childrens' schools, which is vital 3. By making healthier food more widly available, especially in lower income areas, and 4. Get kids moving, both at school and at home.

Regardless of what political party you are associated with, she needs our support in this program. Our kids need our support in this program. Look at the website. Learn from it and make the changes necessary to help our kids.

Someone else working to change America's children -- Jamie Oliver. If you have 20 minutes to either work out or watch this video - WATCH THE VIDEO. I was changed by this...

If you don't know who Jamie Oliver is, he's a chef. He's a chef that believes we as a country are on a downward spiral when it comes to weight and obesity. Because of that, he has started the award winning, Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. Jamie's Food Revolution is all about replacing junk, snacks and processed food with freshly cooked nutritious meals – in schools and at home. After three months working in Huntington, WV, Jamie has seen how a little bit of confidence can change people's lives and their health prospects. He believes that American people have the power to halt the obesity epidemic. That needs to start now - with a Food Revolution. Look at his website. Learn what is happening to our kids - what WE are doing to our kids. Sign his petition.

***My own kids will no longer drink chocolate milk at school. And until something changes, they will no longer eat meals offered through the school district. They will eat home made lunches packed with whole foods including whole grains, fresh fruits and vegetables.***

Not all children are overweight or obese. None of my three boys are overweight. BUT, just because a child is not obese does not mean they are healthy or have malnourishment issues. I believe regardless of a child's weight at one given point in their lives - they all deserve to be taught the lessons on healthy living, proper eating and exercise.

If you feel as strongly about this issue as I do, post about it, talk to your kids, and friends. Educate people.

If three of my blog readers vow to teach their children better habits and post about the Food Revolution in their own blogs - and three of each of their blog readers do the same and three of their blog readers do the same, and three of their blog readers do the same, etc that's 87 blog readers affected and potentially hundreds of kids (depending on the number of kiddos each blog reader has)who's lives will be changed.

What I WAS doing to my kids - I am NO LONGER doing.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Today's food

I ate some pretty food today! Mistee laughs at me when I make my plates now. If its something that's nice on the eyes, I arrange it all pretty - getting it ready for pictures. A couple of nights ago she said, "Damn, you act like your getting that plate ready for the prom!" Hehehe!

Anyway, here's breakfast this morning:

A scrambled egg with half a tablespoon of cream cheese and a quarter cup of fresh spinach. One piece of whole wheat toast with ICBINB spray and strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and blackberries. YUM!

246 Calories, 10 Fat, 31 Carbs, 11 Protein and 290 grams of sodium.


A spinach salad with a quarter tablespoon Parmesan cheese and a tablespoon of Newman's Own Light Raspberry and Walnut dressing - with a half of a Lean Pocket Stuffed Quesadilla Grilled Chicken Fajita. Normally I don't eat boxed stuff like this but I love the Lean Pocket white chicken pizza. So, I was getting a box of those and saw this. It's not too bad!

248 Calories, 8 Fat, 33 Carbs, 11 Protein and 290 grams of sodium.

Sorry - no pics. My plan was for Salmon and salad but the kids were screaming for pizza. Ugg! How do I handle this one? I did pretty good! I ordered a pepperoni for Mistee and the boys and a small Spinach Alfredo for Mistee and I from Papa Johns.
I ate a salad of lettuce and spinach with Olive Garden dressing and two pieces of the spinach Alfredo pizza. I also drank 45 ounces of water to fill me up and help prevent me from eating any more pizza.

481 Calories, 22 Fat, 53 Carbs, 17 Protein and 16 grams of sodium
* I KNOW the sodium is not right. Its listed that the pizza has 0 grams of sodium. NOT!

I had a snack between lunch and dinner. A Special K Strawberry bar.

Total Calories for the day 1066, 41 grams of Fat, 135 Carbs, and 42 grams of Protein.

Guess What!

No really, guess!!

No ideas???

Ill give you a couple of hints!

What weighs 25 pounds??

This fish weighs 25 pounds!

This cat weighs 25 pounds!

This potato weighs 25 pounds!

TWENTY FIVE of these weighs 25 pounds!

Now, who DOESN'T have 25 pounds???

Yea, you guessed right!!



I read blog posts every day where you guys are posting great before, during and after pictures of yourselves.
I only have one picture of me and that's my profile pic. So, I guess its time to show you who I am. The good, bad, and super ugly. However, when looking through pics to find some of myself, I discovered - I have only a handful. None while pregnant with Monkey, none of me this past Christmas, none of me at soccer games or birthday parties.
I guess Ive used my love of photography as a crutch. Because if I'm the one taking the pictures, I can't be in the pictures.
No more.
I want to be able to share memories with my family. I want to be able to look at pictures of all of us together. I'm not where I want to be weight wise but I will not let that hold me back from preserving memories any more.
So, would you mind taking a picture of us?

This first one is just a bigger version of my profile pic. Its a cute pic I think of Monkey and I.

This one was taken in summer of 07, I believe. I was probably around 230. I was tanning, had a cute haircut and was overall pretty ok with myself physically.

This is from this past Thanksgiving. Bubba, Monkey and I were modeling the turkey aprons we made that day. I was 260 pounds and the pants I have on are a size 22.

There's no real reason for this one, other than I think its funny. This was Halloween 09. 260 pounds and the pants I had on (not that you can see them) are a 22. I couldn't button them but you couldn't tell because the corset covers the waist of the pants.

Now here are the two whoa momma jommas. The pictures that say it all. They were both taken this past January, three days apart from each other. Typically, if I saw these pictures on the cameras memory card I would delete them. But for some reason, I didn't. Maybe it was part of the divine intervention.

The last one is the one I use as my "before" picture. The picture is supposed to be of Monkey sleeping. Obviously, Mistee does not know how to use the zoom button on the camera. This picture disgusts me. Its just gross. I cried when I first saw it. I had already started my healthy journey but by seeing this picture I was REALLY able to see the picture.

I will not post any more pictures of me looking like that. Because I no longer look like that!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Food for thought

I've seen alot of you guys posting what you eat every day. I track everything I stuff into my face on sparkpeople so posting it here too would be kind of overkill. But every once in a while cant hurt and it gives you an idea of my day.


Yoplait Delights Parfait - Cherry Cheesecake (This was new to me and I don't really care for it.)
1/4 cup Bear Naked Fit Vanilla Almond Crunch Granola
1/4 cup fresh blueberries
2 medium fresh strawberries
30 ounces of water

Total: 248 Calories, 42 carbs, 4 grams of fat, 8 grams of protein and sodium 97.

Wait!! What?? Sodium 97! How does a 4 ounce container of yogurt have 80 grams of sodium??!! The kind I usually eat, Greek Gods Honey Greek Yogurt, has more calories at 160 but has less sodium at 65 grams. Guess you have to pick and choose huh? But, I wont be eating the Yoplait again.


2 - Mission White Corn Tortillas
1/2 cup canned black beans
1/2 cup chopped Romain Lettuce
1/2 cup chopped Roma Tomatoes
1/4 Haas Avacado
1 Tbs light sour cream
1/8 cup 2% Sharp Cheddar Cheese (I just can't do fat free cheese - blech!)
2 Tbs Salsa
30 ounces of water

This is a pic of last nights dinner. Seriously, how good does that look? Darn good!

To be honest, I can't remember who posted it - Im sorry! But, I read a post showing tostadas for dinner. It looked like such a great idea! We did it for dinner last night with ground chicken. They were soo good! Misee and I each had two, Monkey had two and Bubba ate four!! I'm so lucky I have kids that like to try new things! So our lunch today will be left overs - with out the chicken or rice side.

Total: Calories 386, Carbs 53, Fat 14, Protein 15 and 672 grams of sodium.

The sodium is pretty high due to the beans. However, it could be worse with re fried beans - and I really think the actual number is lower because I drain and rinse canned beans before cooking them.


1 cup 15 bean mix, dried beans - cooked (this is actually two servings)
1/2 Eckrich Cheddar Smoked Sausage
1 cup fresh broccoli
2 Tbs salsa
30 ounces of water

Meal Total: 379 Calories, 49 carbs, 11 fat, 15 protein, and 608 grams of sodium.

How pretty! Before I rinsed these and started soaking them - I used them as a learning lesson for the kiddos. We talked about all the colors and sizes. I let them run their hands through them and pick out all the different kinds they could find. Fun with food!

Snacks through out the day:

1 Special K Strawberry Bar
1 Cutie Mandarin Orange
30 ounces of water

Snack total: 119 calories, 24 carbs, 2 fat, 2 protein, and 111 grams of sodium.

Totals for the day: 1131 Calories, 167 carbs, 31 fat, 49 protein, and 1488 grams of sodium.

So, there you have it! My numbers for the day. It is a tad low at the end of the day - but that gives me a little play room if I have the munchies. I could throw in another Cutie, Special K bar, or even another 1/2 cup serving of beans with dinner.

Monday, March 1, 2010

A quick note to my blogging buddies......

I just wanted to post real quick and say THANK YOU!

This little blogging group of wonderful, inspiring people is nothing short of amazing. I have come to realize how much you all affect me every day. We go through our cravings, hard days and tough times together. We also have the pleasure of going through our NSV, accomplishments and goals achieved together too. In my own hard times, I think about what you all will think of the eating choices I make or if I don't get on the stupid treadmill. You keep me on my toes.

I never would have imagined when starting this blog, that I would have become as attached to this little community as I have.

I look forward to reading posts everyday to see what new things everyone has to say, recipes you have to share and victories you have to celebrate!

So, thank you!

I have crabs!

And they are SO tasty!! If you're a fan of crab and shrimp - this is so fun and so good. A good ol fashioned crab boil.

You need crab legs, shrimp (I get the already peeled small to medium size), corn on the cob, fingerling potatoes, an onion, a couple of lemons, Old Bay crab boil seasoning bag, a cheap plastic table cloth and of course butter and lots of paper towels! The amount of crab and shrimp to get really varies on the amount of people your serving. I bought 3 pounds of snow crab legs and 1 pound of shrimp. You can also add craw fish but we don't like them.

Cut the lemons and onion in half and put em in a stock pot 3/4 full of water. Throw in the seasoning bag. Bring to a boil. Add potatoes to the pot and let boil for ten or so minutes, depending on the size of the taters. Add the corn - if theyr'e fresh, let them boil for a 10 - 15 minutes. If frozen, they just need to be warmed. Add shrimp and crab legs. Boil 10 - 15 minutes.

The pot will look like this!

While the goodies are cooking - lay the table cloth over the table you plan to eat at. If were eating inside, I lay an old folded towel in the middle of the table. Put melted butter in a few different places on the table, so everyone can reach. Also, put out the paper towels, forks and crab crackers, if needed. When everything is done cooking, drain the water completely. Take out the lemons, onion and seasoning bag.

Then, starts the fun part! Dump the contents of the pot directly onto the middle of the table. Yup! You read that right!

Then - GET AFTER IT! Here's Monkey eating his shrimps!

Just throw your shells and trash right there on the table. When your done - you'll have something that looks like this:

When you're done, just wrap up all of the trash in the table cloth and throw in the dumpster or outside trash. Trust me, you don't want to leave crab shells and shrimp tails in the house - they get funky fast!

The kids think this is super fun because they can eat with their hands with no plates. Mommy thinks its fun because there is NO clean up!

I ate two racks of crab legs, 25 shrimp, two mini corn on the cobs and two and a half potatoes. The total calories were 778, 109 carbs, 9 grams of fat and 64 grams of protein. Now, I know that the calories and carbs seems high. BUT, take out the potatoes you get 503 calories and 44 carbs. You can also only eat one corn instead of two (I was in a pig out mood!) which will cut down on both the calories and carbs even more. Shrimp and crab are both low calorie, low fat and high in protein. Good to go!!

Weekend Recap

This past weekend was uneventful and was GREAT! I still haven't completely gotten used to the fact that our house is back to normal. Its been a month since Uncle (Mistee's brother) and the kids moved into their own place.
I did have some drama late Friday afternoon. But nothing we didn't expect. Cps came knocking on the door because of a phone call that was made by Uncle's ex. It was a totally false call and the caseworker knows it. However, they have to investigate all calls made - its Texas state law. Is there anyone in your life you wish would just fall off of the planet? Cause boy, his ex is that one for me.

I did pretty good on sticking to my eating plans. But, boy I had some intense cravings! Im not one to crave sweets - but both Saturday and Sunday night I just couldn't stand it! I even got online and looked at the Dairy Queen menu and nutrition counts. BUT - I did NOT go for ice cream and did not cave on my craving Saturday night. Sunday, I ate a Little Debbie cupcake though. Thank God it was the last one - I could have eaten the whole box!! I had a total of 1856 calories on Sunday which is way high for me. But, I haven't had a day over 1400 since February 9th and not a day over 1600 since February 1st. So, Im pretty ok with having one 1800 calorie day a month.

Work out sessions this weekend weren't so great. Friday I did my 4/1. I was fully planning on doing more. I had some friends come over in the afternoon and then went to the movie with Buddie Pal that night. So, I just didn't get it done.
Saturday I woke up with a vengeance. I did my 4/1 but had problems getting through it. It was not fun - but is it ever? And again, I planned on doing more. I was going to let Jillian whoop on me for a bit and do a routine on fitlab. But, Mistee's been telling me for months that she's going to work out with me. I really want her to do 30 Day Shred. So, I waited for her, to get done with her nap, fold laundry, smoke, etc etc Needless to say, it didn't happen. I went to bed not only craving junk food but mad at myself for waiting for her. I wont wait for her to work out with me again.

Yesterday, we just had a lazy day. Monkey and I walked around the grocery store for a couple of hours. We read labels, talked about different produce and just hung out. I told him he could pick out anything he wanted out of the produce department. Anything - and we would try it. Our cart was SO full of produce people were laughing at us! But we got a pineapple, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, bananas, grapefruit (yuk), tomatoes, avocado, broccoli, etc etc. The only thing we got that I have never tried was a plantain. Ill have to look up what to do with it.

**Funny story. As were exploring the produce department, Monkey points to a pile of fresh ginger and says "What's that?" I told him what it was and picked up a piece for him to smell and feel. If you've never seen it before, it is kind of odd looking. He asked if he could eat it and went to take a bite. I told him no, it has to be cooked (even though I know you can eat it raw, but its not for the faint of heart). I asked him if he wanted one and he said no. So, as I'm putting the ginger back in the bin - as loud as a three year old is capable of talking, my son says "Thank goodness, Mommy. I'm relieved. I thought it was POOP!" Needless to say, everyone in the produce department cracked up laughing.

When we got home we ate dinner and again I had a horrible craving for something sweet. That's when the cupcake came in. I haven't had one in months so I'm really not mad at myself for it. I went to bed early, after a "heated discussion" with Mistee. So, no workout at all. Not even my 4/1.

So, my weekend wasn't a total bust but it wasn't great either.

I did have one good point though. While at the grocery store, I was looking at ground chicken and ground turkey. I had a woman approach me asking questions about eating more healthy and what I thought of using ground turkey and chicken. Honestly, I haven't used ground chicken and told her so. But turkey is great. The texture is different but you get used to it. She said she has a problem trying new things but was willing to give it a shot. She bought the same thing I did - ground chicken breast and lean ground turkey. Out of curiosity, I asked why she chose me to talk to, as there were other people getting turkey. She said because she could tell by what was in my cart, I eat healthy. Wow! That really was a compliment to me. Even though I don't know this woman - she could see what I'm trying to do for myself and my family.

Oh, and my Sunday morning weigh in? 237.4 That's a 1.2 pound loss for the week. Not a great number in my opinion, but a loss is a loss. I've got 10 days 22 hours and 47 minutes till we leave for our trip. My goal was to be at 230 when we left. Its not looking good. But its not over till the fat lady sings ...... and I ain't singing!