Wednesday, February 10, 2010


I dont know exactly when it started or how for that matter. Maybe Sunday's Super Bowl get together got it started. Maybe because I'm at the couple of days in my cycle where I normally eat everything that's not nailed down. Maybe cause Ive been sick, stressed etc. It really doesn't matter how or why or even when the bottom line is that Ive been slacking.

Saturday I woke up, did some running around with a friend to get ready for Sundays party. By the time we realized it, it was late and we were getting phone calls that the natives were restless and hungry. What to do and where to go? We had six kids and three adults to feed, so it needed to be cheap. Off to Cici's we went. I had eaten very little that day (mistake, big mistake) and was starving. Because of the amount of working out Ive been doing and the type of food Ive been eating - I have to eat every three or four hours. If not I get shaky and just feel overall lousy. Anyway, we go to Cici's and ate. For the first time, I did not check nutritional counts online before going (another big mistake). I used my best judgment -really? who am I kidding here. No I didnt. I did eat a salad first and was light on the dressing. But, I chose what I ate based on flavor and just because I flat out wanted it. Yes, I could have done better - but could have done much worse.
When I got home and tracked the results on sparkpeople I was supprised. Not too bad. Then it was time to work out. Working out in the evening is not good for me. By then Im tired and just dont feel like it. But I did it and was glad.

So, when Super Bowl Sunday came around - I was excited about my choices and was happy with how I ate. However, I didnt work out. No biggie. One day off a week is not a bad thing. If anything, for recovery, youre supposed to take two days off right?

I guess because of HOW I ate (as apposed to WHAT I ate) Sunday is what got me on my downward spiral. Instead of sitting down for meals, I snacked here and there. As a result, Monday - all day Monday, I ate. And I ate. And I ate some more. Not huge portions of food at a time but little bites of this and little bites of that. Just like I had done on Sunday. Those little bites here and there really add up. Oh, and I did not work out. What was I thinking?? Oh, I wasnt.

Yesterday I woke up horribly sick. Stomach cramps to no end and hours (Im not kidding) in the bathroom. The only thing I have to use as a reason, was how I had eaten the day before. Soda, chips, sweets, white bread, butter - all stuff I had not eaten at all or much of in over a month. My entire day was spent on the couch or in the bathroom in intense pain. However, at about 3:30 I started to feel better. So, at that point it started again. See, once again I hadnt eaten all day and was starving. Before I knew it I found myself in the kitchen with a glass of Strawberry Fanta and my hand in a bag of powdered donuts. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? I was screaming internally to myself. At one point - out loud - I replied with "Eating a powdered donut is what Im doing, duh." "No, Lindsey - get rid of them, before you eat all of them. And you know you will." So, I did. I dumped the rest of the bag down the garbage disposal and threw the one I was eating down too - for good measure. After my binge, I again, felt like doo doo on a stick as my mom used to say. So again, I did not work out.

This morning I woke up with a vengeance. I took the appetite suppressant pill Ive been prescribed and got dressed. I dont take the pill everyday but if I know its going to be a difficult day I will. I have no shame in saying sometimes I need help. I poured the rest of the Fanta down the drain and the Dr Pepper too. Then, I got on the scale. 243. Overall not bad considering. Its less than a pound gain. But I'm really disappointed. I wanted to hit my 20 pound lost mark today. I blew it.

Normally, this would cause someone - OK me - to say screw it. Its not gonna work. And go eat. Nope. Not this time. I got dressed, made a jug of water for the day, hooked up the Wii and worked out. I burned 572 calories in 46 minutes.

Can I just say that I totally thought I was gonna die while working out. I cant believe that going three days with out working out will get me out of whack that bad. I'm thinking it was due to dehydration. In my slacking I had four days of drinking hardly any water plus losing a lot yesterday in my illness. That has to be the reason my workout was so difficult today. Maybe Ill research it and see if I can find more specific reasons.

For breakfast today a Fiber One 90 calorie bar - yum. Lunch was a half of spaghetti squash with butter and sugar. Again, yum. Not sure what will come about for dinner yet but Ive come to the understanding that Im back.

Im back. I can not let a few days get me down. I cant let a half of a pound gain get in the way of my goal. Like one of my favorite sayings goes - Time to put my big girl panties on and deal with it. This is going to be a long journey for me to get where I need to be. I will have hills to climb and bumps in the road. This was my first hill. I could have done better but I could have done much worse.